A dear friend has gone missing. I felt like I knew her so well, yet she disappeared without saying goodbye. I guess it was sort of a gradual disappearance. Not a here-one-day-gone-the-next kind of thing.
She was young, quirky, outgoing, and confident; a musician, major crafter, and thrift-store-regular; loved learning-creating-imagining. Little-by-little what I loved about my friend seemed to be consumed by insecurity, self-doubt, and, mostly, cleaning up little messes (she has two little garçons now).
Oh, there are wonderful changes I’ve noticed over the years. Becoming a maman created new passions and interests she didn’t know were there. Before she realized it, though, it seemed all these maman thoughts were all that was left (along with lots of worry… Because that’s what mamans do.).
But, seriously… Where was her spunk? Her creative spirit? Where could that confidence be (really, there are days when it is nowhere to be found, dear readers).
Over the last several years, I’ve seen less-and-less of her. I’d catch a glimpse of her now-and-again at a yarn shop, poking around the hand-dyed handsomes. Or maybe dusting off her cello or tinkering at the piano. She had a few flings with big names like “WEAVING” and “SPIRITUAL GROWTH”… but though she found some new loves, she never made the time to be true to them for long. Though she is mostly in hiding, I sense her more-and-more in recent months… now that I know what to look for…
This friend didn’t leave completely without a trace– there is still part of her here… Lingering… Waiting to be found. I know you’d like to help, dear reader. But, only I can find her; nobody else knows her the way I do and she might be frightened away by a stranger (she is a bit prone to paranoia and thinking of what others are thinking). There is one thing you can do to help, however. Be a listener and encourage her to be herself. If you hear her return or catch sight of her… (and maybe there is a friend of hers at your house too that must be found)… welcome her back and ask her to stay. We’ve missed her, haven’t we?!
In the meantime, I’ll be journaling my jours, tracking traces of her, and, finally…